C.H.I.L.I.

"If you give someone rules, they'll think you gave them a game. B.E.A.N.S.R.P.G. elegantly solves this problem." - Gary

B.E.A.N.S.R.P.G. is a seminal tabletop roleplaying text in which the Rizzle describes a world, and several players explore it and try to advance their Scores and Win The Game. 

However, just as its Dice-12 resolution system is not entirely... defined... the book also lacks many mutations higher or lower B.E.A.N.S. scores give a player character. C.H.I.L.I. fills this omission - not thoroughly, not even well, but in a way that is intriguing, interesting, and entertaining. 

C.H.I.L.I. also contains

• A bestiary of modern classics: Larval Form CEO, Doomer, Cosmic Juggler,  Terrible Insight, and many more! 
• Various locations where your adventures can play out. Living highways. Density Cities. Machine Cults. 
• The tools in your hand - potentially your crab-claw-hand - to outwit, to adventure, and to impress the Rizzle and thereby Win The Game.
• No actual photos of chili - really? That seems like a big miss. Is there a chili golem? OK, no chili golem. Great.
• Plain text version for ease of reading / less eyeball pain
• Backgrounds for a 'future' society - be a Moon Pet, or a Corporate Stats Juke-er, or a DVD Smuggler!
• More B.E.A.N.S.R.P.G. rules: become the Rizzle! Non-cup dice throws! 
• Implied vehicular damage weapons like the hand-crab or portable rocket launcher!
• Quotes from Gary!

Inspired by B.E.A.N.S.R.P.G. and Crapland, NEIM, John Plane, and by playing lots of Cruelty Squad, I've made a surreal modern bestiary and biopunk awful mutations for high and low stat characters. 'Easily' adaptable to any system, you can battle it out with shrub cosplayers and change your BEANS stats with Resonance Chambers. You can have a good old time.

Images from Wikimedia Commons, all with no use restrictions. Manipulated by Photomosh. Laid out with Electric Zine Maker and MS Paint.